My Story

I always liked doing art as a kid, but I wasn't one of those people you hear about who drew all over the walls and had six art projects going on at once, all at the kitchen table. (That would be my nine year old, actually, though she was pretty good about sparing the walls). When I was in middle school, I started drawing doodles all over my notebooks and those doodles turned into little cartoons and things like that. I just loved doing things with my hands while I listened.  Then, when I was about 13, I used a photo that I had taken from San Diego, and I tried drawing it. And, I surprised myself.  I couldn't believe I had drawn it as well as I did.  Of course, I look at it now and think it is beginner work, but still, it isn't too bad, considering it was my first attempt at somewhat realistic pencil drawing.

(my first "real" drawing)

 From there, I started drawing all the time. I tried painting too - with tempera (ugh!) and later acrylic. I never tried oil painting. At the time it was too expensive to buy, and it had a stigma attached to it - like it was something just way too hard to try. But, my love still strongly stayed with pencil.  I did art all through High School. I took art classes in school, which, unfortunately were where they put all the drop outs, but my teacher recognized that I had some abilities, and he gave me separate assignments and instructions.  Sometime I should just do a post about my two art teachers in school - there are some funny stories. In my senior year, I was voted "Most Artistic". I designed t-shirts for our class, painted designs on our dugouts, designed a cover for our writers magazine, and got known by my fellow classmates.
I went to college at BYU with the full intention of becoming an illustration major. I took a drawing class my first semester and loved it. But something happened. I really don't know why, but I decided I didn't want to do art for a living. I didn't want it to be a forced assignment with deadlines. I felt that would stifle my creativity. And, going into fine art just meant that I wouldn't have a job when I graduated from college, as I saw it, so I changed my major and eventually became an elementary school teacher. I had a lot of artistic friends in college and I still loved art and did it from time to time, but eventually I think I decided I wasn't very good and I stopped doing it. I got married and had four kids and became a very busy person. A few times I pulled out some paper and pencil and tried drawing and it was very frustrating. I thought it was supposed to be like riding a bike, but it sure didn't come back to me. I couldn't remember all the skills and tricks that worked in my drawing. So, I always packed it away for another day, another year. I kept saying that someday I would draw again, but this wasn't the time, and there were always excuses. My husband kept telling me he hoped I would get back into it too, and he was (and is) willing to support me in doing that.

As my fourth child grew from a baby to a toddler, I felt this longing to do something - anything - that was just for me. I love being a mom, but I felt like I was losing myself - who was Rachel anyway? I got up the nerve to do something I had wanted to do for years. I took a photography class with my SLR camera. I loved it. I took two more courses and learned a lot, and started taking more and more photos. When I saw that I could actually take a class and do something fun and creative, I decided I wanted to take an art class. It took awhile to even find a class. I looked and looked online but never found drawing - I could only find oil painting, and that is not where I wanted to start. So, I gave up searching.  Then, one night I was talking to a friend whose kids are grown. She was telling me how, when her children were young and her husband was gone a lot, she took classes on anything and everything she was interested in. It helped her retain her identity. That night, I decided one more time to look online for a local art class, and I found one - it was a "Mom's time out" class that happened to be right during my three year old's preschool. It couldn't have been more perfect.
On the first class I was handed a ball of clay and was told to make a sculpture showing movement. I decided to make a young child sitting in the grass with the wind blowing through her hair, head tipped back, enjoying the beautiful day.
It sounds quite glorious, and the final result was not quite what I envisioned, but this lump of clay did something to me.

(the sculpture from class)

I sat in that room with my clay, playing with it, molding it, talking to the other student and the teacher, and I felt this thing in me. I am not sure how to explain it. It was like a part of me that had been in hibernation had finally decided to wake up, do a big stretch, and get to work. I loved it. Three dimensional art is not my forte, but just that very act of trying to create something awoke a desire in me that had been gone for fifteen years. I wanted to do art. Badly.  I went home and got out my old art supplies, printed a photo that I liked, and started drawing it. I was so happy to be drawing again. I decided to simply try it. Who cared if it was good? I wanted to do it just to say I did it. I wanted to finish a piece. I wasn't doing it for anyone but myself.  It was wonderful sitting in my kitchen with my pencils and an audiobook, getting lost in my art.
 And, about a week later, I signed a piece of art with my married initials - for the first time. It had been fifteen years.

(the first drawing I signed with my married name)

From there,  I have had this burst of creativity. It comes and goes, but the desire stays. I learned how to quilt and loved doing that. In my class I became the only student, and the focus was just on drawing. I started with black and white chalks, and eventually moved on to color. We never did pencil, and I still hope to find a teacher who will help me with my pencil techniques. I did grow to love using pastels. It is a very different approach than pencil, but it has become my second favorite medium.
So, as I start this blog, I hope to let my story unfold more with pictures of my work, the stories behind them, and also photos of my old work from my school days - there is a lot of nostalgia in those for  me.